


A hand to hold

by katiebuttercup



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Episode Related, F/F, F/M, Femslash, I havent actually watched the episode, Miscarriage, Rule 63, girl!Athelstan, pre OT3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-22
Updated: 2013-04-22
Packaged: 2017-12-09 03:55:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/769684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katiebuttercup/pseuds/katiebuttercup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Athelsa knows she is useless in many ways in this new world, she wishes, this one time she wasn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A hand to hold

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Characters are not mine
> 
> This could be AU I am not sure as I haven't seen the episode

Athelsa knows in many ways she is useless in this new world she has been dragged into. She is soft while strength and hardiness are required to thrive here. Her hands are soft from handling scripture whilst Lagertha's are calloused from holding weapons. Legartha's body is a weapon, strong and toned from many battles while Athelsa's body is smooth and tiny. 

Now as she sits at the foot of Legartha's bed, watching in horrified fascination as the warrior gives birth, legs spread obscenely wide. It was something she had never thought she would experience, locked away in a convent she had never come in contact with a pregnant woman before and had no idea of the mechanics of giving birth. She was completely out of her depth. She should leave, she decides, she would just be in the way. 

She starts to move but Lagertha grabs her hand hard enough to break bones. Her face covered in sweat and her ample breasts heaving as she sucks in lungfulls of air. 

She was breathtakingly beautiful to Athelsa.

"Don't go."

Athelsa felt the weight of the blonde vikings gaze on her, as heavy as it had when she had invited her to her bed with her husband but it was different now. Lagertha trusted her. Slowly Athelsa sat back down. 

The birth continues, Athelsa talks to her, or rather into her hair, as Lagertha gives birth but it is soon apparant that something is wrong. Desperately wrong. Siggy is there in an instant, her face a mask of worry and then the unthinkable happens. 

It is a long painful nightmare for Althelsa and instead of joy there is only pain and blood. Lagertha is heartbroken and so brave and as usual Athelsa is useless. 

Siggy speaks wisdom of being a mother, of hope and Athelsa can only sit in silence. There is nothing she can say to bring comfort to the bravest woman she has ever met. Beside Lagertha she is barely a woman. 

The hours pass in a blur, Lagertha's face a mask of agony that isn't physical and she clings to Althesa in a way she has never done before, as if Athelsa is the only port in a storm that has destroyed her soul. Athelsa feels tears burn her eyes but she shakes her head and wills them away, she will not cry. She hasn't the right.

Athelsa is sure she has never experienced this kind of pain before, locked up safe in the convent she had never seen human suffering and it broke her heart. She wants to take it all away, she wants to hold Lagertha and never let go, this woman who has been mistress and captor and family, who had made her part of a family that Athelsa had never known she had wanted. 

There are many ways in which Athelsa is useless in this new world but the least she can do is offer a hand to hold.


End file.
